I walked to the nursery by myself for the first time this morning. I got there in time for devotional, which I love. We started by singing hymns in Chichewa. I'm getting better at reading and singing in Chichewa, even though I will never be able to match the clear and lilting voices of the nannies and the other MOH staff. Daniel led devotional this morning from Ephesians 4. All of his commentary was in Chichewa, but the Scripture stood alone. It was about being faithful to that which we have been called - "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, on faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." I felt like God was speaking to my heart through those verses. In just a few verses, He instructed me in how to act and how to live while on this grand adventure as well as reminding me just who He is.
After devotional, I went and played with my babies. Jese, Jestina, and Tia were all awake and in good moods. Jese was feeling better today and was all smiles. She was "talking" and blowing bubbles. I held each of my babies, cuddled them, snuggled them, kissed them, and talked to them. I love them so dearly - how am I ever going to leave them in just a week and a half?
I left the nursery around 10AM and walked back to Teethsavers because we were going to be picked up at 10:30AM to go on home visits. Our ride was actually on time, which is surprising. :P The ride to Katondo was fast and bumpy, thanks to our driver, John. It was like riding a roller coaster!
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| Me, Mike, and Jenna playing outside the Katondo feeding center (picture from Annie) |
We did four home visits in Katondo. I absolutely love home visits - I could do them every day! I love interacting so intimately with the families in the villages, seeing how they live and learning their stories. These people are so gracious, so hospitable, and so open with everything. You feel as if they'd give you the shirt off their back even if they weren't wearing one. To see such poverty yet such contentment is astounding and humbling. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall see God."
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| Annie, Jenna, me, and Mike sitting on the front porch of the woman in yellow's home (picture from Annie) |
One family that really stood out to me was one of three children; Erin (15,) Edwin (12,) and Edward (9.) Their mother passed away three years ago, but their father is still around. He wasn't there when we came by, but the children invited us into their home. It was the first time I'd actually been inside one of the houses. It was about the size of my bedroom (maybe a little smaller) and was cool and dark inside because of the solid mud brick walls. There was a bamboo mat on the floor, a basket of dishes, a pot of water from the well, a bowl of nsima, and a clothes' line strung between two walls. That was it.
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| Me, Erin, Mike, Edward, Edwin, and one of the volunteers from the Katondo feeding center (don't remember her name!) |
My heart was drawn to Erin as soon as I met her. She had a lovely, gentle face with quiet strength in her eyes. I could tell she missed her mother deeply and was determined to care for her family no matter how hard it was. She is in school and wants to become a teacher, but at this point, even secondary school is a far reach, much less college. This girl, who is only a year older than my sister Erin, has been "mom" to her siblings since she was 12. Not only that, but she has done so without electricity, without running water, without beds, and sometimes even without food. I didn't want to leave that tiny house or its young keeper. I wanted to stay and embrace Erin and give her any possible comfort and encouragement I could. Even though we brought supplies for them, I knew that once we walked out that door, I would never see them again and their situation would stay the same. It was then I had to remind myself that "there is one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all, and in all." God sees Erin and her brothers - He knows the number of hairs on their heads. He knows their thoughts and hopes and fears, and He has just as much of a plan for their lives as He does for mine. Even if I had to leave them, He never does. They are in good hands.
I wish I had a house with a hundred rooms and could adopt every orphaned child I have met on this trip. I wish I could spend every day just loving them, teaching them, enjoying their company, and watching them grow. I wish I could wrap them in my arms and never have to let go. I wish I could spend hours making them laugh and basking in their smiles and unbridled joy. I wish I could be a mother to the motherless. However, I am a 19 year old girl from Louisiana with two more years of college and medical school to go. I'm not exactly in a place where I can adopt kids right now, and I probably won't be for a long time. I am reminded of what my airport companion told me before I ever even boarded the plane to Ethiopia/Malawi - "You can build a wall against the pain and suffering, or you can allow it to break your heart, just like it does God's, and allow Him to mature and teach you through it. You won't be able to help a million people, but you don't know if one of those babies you hold may grow up to do just that."
Bearing the weight of a sensitive heart isn't easy, but I don't have to do it alone. Thank God.
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