Nature Musing

Life has been tough lately. I have felt pushed and shoved and hurried and beaten down at every turn.   I’ve hardly had a chance to eat or sleep, let alone sit and muse about nature. Nevertheless, tonight I found myself a bench in the Bowl and sat there for awhile, letting my mind wander. 

The symphony of crickets and cicadas combined with the rustling leaves overhead formed a soundtrack for the evening.  Stalwart trees formed a protective shield around me and allowed me to let my guard down and rest.  Deeply, I breathed in air scented with wisteria, dirt, grass, and leftover rain.  I kicked off my flip flops and ran my toes through the silky soil beneath the bench.  I absentmindedly drew patterns in the dirt until my toes found a patch of velveteen grass and lingered there awhile. A breeze blew and a single leaf drifted casually to the ground. I closed my eyes and soaked it in.

I realized how preoccupied  I have been. I realized how misdirected my attentions have been.  I have been so focused on taking tests and writing papers that I have completely ignored the wonder of nature all around me.  I was dumbfounded to consider that every atom has to be perfectly arranged to form molecules which must be exactly placed to form cells which must be precisely designed to function in just the right way to make up every living thing. The fact that there is air that can be moved that can bend the hairs on my skin that can send signals to my brain that can allow me to feel the breeze blowing against my arms astounds me.  The fact that my heart is beating and my muscles are contracting and my nerves are firing all without my conscious effort leaves me speechless.

All of these thoughts swarmed through my head as I pondered the infinite majesty of God, who can keep electrons circling nuclei and the earth circling the sun.  He does not only orchestrate the entire universe to function, but to be beautiful and awe-inspiring as well! He has not only created the grandeur of a sunset, but has created our eyes to see it! It was in that moment, sitting in the Bowl by myself, under the few stars beginning to flicker in the sky, that I began to fully understand what the psalmist meant in Psalm 19:1 – “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” It was in that moment that my priorities were straightened out and my soul was renewed.

Thanks Dr. Hendrixson;  nature musing did me a world of good.

Sometimes I wonder...

...about old books.

What is it 

about a book 

crumbling in your hand 

that makes you suddenly feel like

you are 

standing on holy ground? 

You pause, 

staring at the bits of dust 

lying there in your hand;

bits of time, 

bits of history,

bits of knowledge, 

shivering there 

in your hand. 

You feel as though 

you hold something 

divine 

and you stand there 

staring.

And you brush your hands together 

and 

it's 

gone.

Something lighter

I realized I've been posting some pretty weighty topics lately, and I wanted to lighten things up.  I have been assigned to write a list of  "10 things I love about Jackson." Here is my working list as of now, with explanations to come (once I have finished studying for my exams.)

Hospitals

Lemuria

FOOD

Reservoir

Diversity

Weather

Riverside Dr.

Fondren

Coffeeshops

Downtown

If you have anything you'd like to add, let me know! This is a work in progress! 

Treasures

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-24

I heard this verse taught this evening at MCF, and it struck me in ways that it never has before. I guess that could be proof that the Bible is living and active, eh? :)

Our treasures are our desires, those things we really want.  What is it you really want? Or in a more pointed question, what bugs you the most when you can't have it?  The answers to these questions are your true desires.  How convicted I was when I realized that the things I treasured most in this life were things like

grades,

sleep,

and recognition. 

How insignificant these things seem when written out, but they are some of my most apparent desires; I get frustrated and stressed out when I can't make the grades I want,  I get annoyed when my alarm goes off every morning, and I am deeply offended if I feel like I am ever not receiving the recognition I earned.

How small-minded of me.

What was even more humbling was when I realized that I get more frustrated when I make a B rather than an A than I do when I "miss" God by neglecting Bible study or prayer. Have I really made grades more important than God?

How idiotic of me.

The world is not working in our favor. It is so very very easy to let school, realtionships, money, and pleasure take precedence in our lives, and to keep God on a back burner... treating our relationship with Him like a pot we only tend when it starts to scorch. (Cooking analogy, bear with me.)


In the grand scheme of things, grades don't matter. Sleep doesn't matter. Recognition doesn't matter. Relationship statuses don't matter.  Plans don't matter. Anything in this life doesn't REALLY matter. 


How CAN anything seem like a big deal when compared with the fact that the

perfect, holy, God of the universe

loved us enough to send His perfect, blameless Son

to die an awful death

and to suffer the condemnation and abandonment we deserve

 just so that we could have the opportunity to be in a

relationship with Him again.



Jesus called us to a life of black and white - we cannot serve two masters.

I pray that I will treasure God and my relationship with Him as much as I treasure my grades.

Conviction

Being convicted of something you've done wrong

hurts.


It hurts to realize you were (or are) wrong.

It hurts to realize you have hurt someone else.

It hurts to change your pattern of living.

It hurts to let others know your failings.

It hurts.


But God heals.

(Read the lyrics to "Come Ye Sinners")


When we are convicted of our failings...

...God heals our relationship with Himself because we are able to realize just how dependent on Him we are and how much He loves us.

...God heals our relationship with others because we can now quit trying to compare ourselves to them - either looking for their faults compared to ours, or measuring ourselves up to someone else's unintentional standard.

...God heals our relationship with ourselves. We can quit beating ourselves up trying to keep up an appearance of perfection and instead

breathe in a deep breath of His pure freedom!

(Read Romans 8:3-14 from The Message)


Good morning, life! It's a beautiful morning!

Medical Mentoring - 1/27/10

I thought it would be appropriate to post something a little more related to medicine.... :)

Here is my e-journal entry from my most recent medical mentoring afternoon:

Today I shadowed Dr. Ricks, DO. When I first got to the clinic and went back to meet her in her bay, she was busy pouring over a new “Taste of Home” cooking magazine. She didn’t have any appointments for another half an hour, so she invited me to sit and look at recipes with her. We talked about tomato tortellini soup, the best way to make monkey bread, and what kind of food was easiest to transport (we decided on Italian.) It was very comforting for me to see that doctors were still able to have “lives” and do the things they loved. So often I, as a pre-med student, only hear about how strenuous and demanding a career in medicine will be and it seems like once I become a doctor I will have to give up everything else I like to do. While I am in no way doubting how difficult and tiring my career path can and will be, it’s nice to know that I can still hold on to what I love, and what makes me, me.

The first patient we saw was a woman in her mid-thirties who suffered from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and uncontrollable uterine bleeding. Dr. Ricks had scheduled her to have a hysterectomy in the next few weeks and the patient was in the office to get refills for her prescriptions and to have a “pre-pre-operation” exam. Dr. Ricks showed me the woman’s fingers, which had a distinct, unnatural curve to them – evidence of rheumatoid arthritis. Dr. Ricks couldn’t remember exactly the name of this deformity, but she knew it was either “swan” or “boutonniere.” When we got back to her bay, she pulled down her physician’s examination textbook, looked up the deformity, and told me for sure that it was called “boutonniere.” It was neat for me to see that even doctors can be unsure about things, but they know how to find the right answer. She let me flip through the textbook until her next patient was ready. In the book were all kinds of procedures of examination, deformities of which to be aware, and the differences in performing an exam on people of a variety of ages. I couldn’t stop turning pages! There was so much to know!

Dr. Ricks’ next patient was a man in his early sixties who had diabetes and neuropathy. He was complaining of losing his balance and falling often. Dr. Ricks explained that often those symptoms could be related to the neuropathy (if you can’t feel your feet, you’re going to be unstable) but the only way to be sure was to do an MRI or CAT scan. However, conventional methods of running these tests could not be done because this man had a severe case of claustrophobia as a result of being a prisoner of war in Vietnam. Dr. Ricks worked with him to figure out a way that it could be done and keep him comfortable at the same time. Their solution was to have him schedule an MRI to be done like an out-patient surgery, with full anesthesia. The patient agreed to this plan, but asked if it could be done very soon because he was preparing for a trip to Daytona Beach for the car races, because he and his brother own a team and were going to be racing six different cars. He didn’t want to have to worry about “falling off the truck” while he was taking care of his cars.

Dr. Ricks’ last patients were a set of sisters, both in their eighties. These women live together, travel together, garden together, and are completely spry and healthy – their only ailment is slight hypertension and early osteoporosis. As Dr. Ricks said, “The best way to care for these ladies is to leave them alone.” She scheduled them for a check-up visit in a year. She then said, “I want to be like them when I grow up.”

One week

It's mind-boggling to think of what can happen in one week.

One week ago today I was at home instead of at school, because the entire city lost water due to freezing weather busting the pipes.

One week ago today I was baking pretzels and eating Chinese food with my family and the girls that were staying with me.

One week ago today my grandmother was still breathing.

One week ago today, life was good.



Today, I'm back at school, with running water, and more homework assignments that I know what to do with.

Today, I'm wishing I could be back home with my family and friends.

Today, my grandmother is in heaven, and her body is resting peacefully under the canopy of a majestic live oak tree.

Today, life is still good.


No, it doesn't make sense.


Even to me.


But it is.



Because He lives.



Amen.